Monday, December 28, 2009

why i write

I write to become lucid enough to explain what I'm thinking. It gets the ideas out of my head, so they aren't bouncing around and ricocheting against the walls of my mind, making noise so loud I can't sleep or pause long enough to reflect on what they might mean. My mind is open now, so all these things can go rushing out to a place less confined and the pressure in my head can neutralize and equal that of the outside. They have been twisted from swirling patterns and colors in my head into the strange shapes of letters on a page. Now they're tangible, and instead of manipulating me, I can manipulate them. Change them into exactly what I want. It's kind of like taking pieces of glass out of a wound. The shards can remain as jagged and piercing as they were and inhabit somewhere else. Or, they can be weathered by the elements of the world and turned into seaglass, or placed in a mosaic, or pawned off in a market in New Orleans as having some kind of magical property. They can become anything, really, once you remove them from yourself. They can take on their own life and give you back the clarity to conceive new ones. I think it's important to let go of them.

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